Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Things you shoulda said... but bit your tongue instead.

Ever really want to make a biting, sarcastic, cutting, caustic remark but bite your tongue instead? Did you bite your tongue in order to keep family peace? Prevent starting a bigger-than-necessary tiff at the Christmas dinner table?

Are you starting to think this post might be a vent?

Are you thinking, maybe, just maybe this post is a vent about the frowny faced sister who spoiled all the wedding fun?

YEP!

During the part of the Christmas feast known as holly jollyday cookies and coffee I asked my brother about a certain townhouse complex in a town near his home. He replied it's a huge complex and depending which side of the development the townhouse is on makes all the difference, since one end straddles a very urban environment and the opposite end boarders up against a very posh suburb. He was quick to point out the urban area was showing since of reinventing itself, and buying there now could be a gamble that pays off in property value increase later. I replied I didn't know which end this unit was on, since the online listing didn't point it out. I mused I might just shoot the listing agent an email and ask. He replies with a nod that he agrees this is a good idea and really, it will save time and makes sense. He goes onto comment about a couple of other nice townhouse complexes in the general area and he can pass on the name of a colleague's wife who's a real estate agent in the area.

Brother mentions he's surprised we're looking in this area. I point out it's a lot closer to the Alpha Buck's office, thereby cutting out a long, and with the current price of gas, expensive commute. There is a train station in town so I can get to my current job with no problem.
Sounds resonable, right?

Mom pipes in to ask why we are leaving the ultra posh suburb we now rent our apt in. Fact of the matter is unless I trip over a very large bag of money in the next week, we can't afford to buy a house in our current town. I don't offer that we've been talking about the complexities of having a baby and I'm not comfortable with both of us working 45-75 minutes from home, pending traffic and train schedules. What if there is an emergency? I don't want to be 45 minutes away from my baby as a 'best case scenario' - and being a SAHM is an unrealistic dream.

Next up is Dad, who doesn't understand why we'd let commuting dictate where we live. Gas won't always be $3+ a gallon. I reply we aren't letting commute dominate the decision, but my opinion is that gas won't be going down any time soon. Plus, why spend all your time commuting? Some general small talk about the price of gas and the economy in general ensure. Nothing out of the ordinary, just general chatter about current events.

Out of the blue my sister, who can only be described as miserable and deranged says "why the hell would you buy a house there - it's a shitty place". Brother (who is a police officer) and I point out it's a pretty good town with good schools, tight sense of community, etc. etc.

Our twisted sister replies " well, sometimes you have to suck it up and live where you don't want to live for a while, do you think I want to stay in my apt?". My even tempered reply is "We're taking the time to research towns because we are ready to buy a home of our own." Her acidic reply "It must be nice to be ready to buy." My cold and measured reply " It takes work and sacrifice, but it is very nice."

What I wanted to say:
"It must be nice to have everyone shell out money for diapers, formula and groceries when you cry about how broke your ass is, because your husband thinks competitive poker is a productive way of life. Maybe if you held down a full time job for more than 2 months you'd be able to open a savings account and provide for your own child, rather than rely on the grace of others. Then, maybe, just maybe you'd know what earning a buck and saving half is like and you'd cut out the stupidity that takes precedence is your life. If you want to buy a home, maybe you should cut back your cable service to something less than $150 a month or stop buying over the top gifts for your 14 month old and cook a meal at home once in a while. Those small steps might make you ready to buy a home too."

She is such a miserable person she spent 15 minutes bashing her sister in law (her husband's sister) for being preggo with baby #3. I (stupidly) commented how great that was (it is, I like her sister in law and am fairly confident as a mom of 2 boys she is pulling for #3 to be a girl) and t.s. replies: "don't get too excited, fertile myrtle gets knocked up once a year, it's not new anymore". Uhm... to be fair my sister has had fertility issues, but she has a healthy, adorable son. Isn't it time to give up the grudge?

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