Challah

Have you ever watched The Shawshank Redemption?

I love that movie. It's one of a half dozen films I watch over and over - if I am flipping channels and it's on, I'll sit and watch through to completion, no matter what else I was supposed to do.

For the last couple of weeks I've been taunted by a scene in the movie. Andy Dufrense has escaped Shawshank Prison and Red is pensive and distracted as the other inmates joke and recall Andy's antics. Red starts to ponder the brightness of some birds and how they shouldn't be caged.

The exact line Red narrates is: I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.

It's that last line that's been getting to me lately, because, well, I just miss my friend.

In August she moved a couple of hours away. I wish that meant we were visiting, and chatting and emailing. I work six days a week, so a four hour round-trip drive gets relegated to Saturday; the day all my other chores, cooking shopping and todo's are relegated to. She needed to move and in the past month I've only been able to visit once. She still hasn't had her internet connection hooked up; she's finally straightened out her mail delivery. I sent her sugar-free peppermint candies this afternoon.

Tonight, I made challah for Rosh Hashanah. My husband is Jewish, and every year after the challah was made, I'd slip over to her house for warm bread and a cup of tea. I wish she was here. She is regaining her health and I'm happy and grateful for that, because as a friend she is stellar.

She is a genuine friend - has only rejoiced when fortune has smiled on me, she's never made snide remarks to deride my successes. Never pooh-pooh'd my affirmation that I still have weight to lose; and if I call and admit a binge or a missed workout, well, she knows when to ride my ass and when to listen. She doesn't sneak or fib, she's never put me down to feel better.

Lately, I've been running into some weirdness from other friends. Pushy comments about my diet - which I haven't shared the details with many about - but declining invitations for drinks, dinners and nights out have gotten snarky comments. It gets tiring and it makes me sad.

I know I'm not unique in this and I know some friends will fall by the wayside; especially as things progress. I just miss my friend. I miss talking through these strange things with her. I miss hearing her sassy mouth spout: Screw 'em, there really not friends if you bettering you is a problem.

I am delivering her challah on Saturday.